Duke Nukem Forever: 15 years still not enough

Duke Nukem was a game that I never played when younger, so I felt that most of the reviews I had read, which condemned the game for failing to live up to it's predecessors, would not apply to me.  And while they didn't, I still felt like there was something, well, antiquated about this game.  Depending on where you went for your info, this game took either 12 years or 15 years to make, and let me tell you, it really does feel that way.

Starting out as a game in a game, you are introduced to some very remedial aspects.  You can pee on demand, and scoop poo out of a toilet and hurl it at some one.  You can turn on all the faucets and leave them running.  You can draw on a chalk board.

And by the time I reached the end, sadly, those would be the funnest parts of the game.

I played Duke on my Xbox 360, a system quite popular with the first person crowds.  Usually, the games are designed and play like they were designed  to be played on the Xbox.  Not Duke Nukem Forever however.  The controls are stiff, made worse by the fact that the enemies jitter back and forth faster then you can lock onto them.  And when you do hit them, it feels like throwing crumbled up paper at a tank with the hopes of stopping it.  It didn't seem to matter what I was using, or how little the enemies were, they usually took the same number of hits.  Duke is a lumbering oaf, and it is never felt more then when you are trying to back away from ANY enemy, resulting in frustrating moments when your “screen going red means dying”  leads to a death, whcih you did all the game would allow you to do to avoid.  It is almost like the game goes out of it's way to introduce these monsters, in mass number, just to remind you you can die.  In most games, a well placed melee strike would do some serious damage.  In Duke Nukem, you are reminded that Duke is revered by the populace because he is apparently a mentally deficient human being who got lucky, but in the face of a real threat, would be better off peeing in a urinal.

Which makes me sad, cause such events  are so scarce in the game.

The levels are long, which may not be a big deal, but in a game that makes combat important and frustrating at the same time, long levels are exhausting.  It was a genuine chore for me to make it through this game.  Without the before mentioned familiarity with the character, I found myself really wanting to make Duke die, if for no other reason to justify it but that mindless rage I feel when someone is a rude driver.  It just feels like Duke should not exist in the world. 

I realize that the guys who put it out really just wrapped up the fifteen (twelve?) years of product into a playable game, and that the game was put out to sort of reintroduce the franchise.  At least I hope that is the case.  As such, I might be being a bit harsh, especially knowing their track record for amazing games (Bioshock, Borderlands and so many more), but this game, to me, really is just bad.  And I liked Naughty Bear.

Anthony Hale

Nerd Credentials : Revoked

(Reviewed on Xbox 360)

Duke Nukem: Forever; Forever young.

Duke Nukem Forever

The Duke was never a huge part of my childhood, though I can still remember huddling with a group of friends around a computer when we found the “Easter Eggs” in the night club level of Duke Nukem 3d. I still thought the game was brilliant; aliens, freeze rays, boobs… what more did an eleven year old need?  It was a simpler time and Duke 3d was a great game.  Although I missed the initial release earlier this year Duke Nukem: Forever was one of the most anticipated games and with the longest development time of any game, it was a must play title.  After getting it for PC, what I found was surprising, and although at first my reaction mirrored many reviews in the end I came away with a different opinion. 

Let’s take a look at it. The controls on my computer respond smoothly and cleanly. The interactions are easy and the art design is consistent. It wasn’t overly buggy and the game has good level design (I mean it’s better than Halo Combat Evolved.)  The whole time I was playing it, I kept thinking, “I feel old school!”  It felt like eating at a great dive restaurant, the kind of place where you go and you get the same thing every time because it’s just that good. It felt simple: in a world of super-realistic cover shooters, 4 player co-ops and 120 hour RPGs, here comes a cozy little shooter as if it was right out of the 90s. That is why I liked it. Aliens, freeze rays and… well, let’s just say the duke hasn’t changed much in the last 14 years.

However refreshing it was, it is also the major complaint about the game.  The content was deemed inappropriate, the graphics were not great, and the game play was much less complex than the modern first-person shooters that people have come to expect.  In short, they were expecting Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and received… Well, Duke Nukem.

  To me, the biggest tragedy was not how long it took the game to come out but was how it was received by the gaming community.  I enjoyed Duke Nukem immensely; it was heartening to play a game made like the Half-lifes and Dooms of the past.  All in all, I’m glad I played this game and will probably play it again.

Macade Vineyard

Nerd credentials: 3; Upheld (nothing special but you could have some fun)
(reviewed on PC)

I got a chance to download and Play THQ's Space Marine demo on Xbox360 and I am thoroughly impressed. When you look at the game its easy to dismiss it as just another 3rd person shooter and you would be right, but its a very well done 3rd person shooter and I think it has the potential to be a surprise hit this holiday season. The way the game approaches 3rd person combat is a refreshing one. Gone are the concrete slabs that one must hide behind to survive, if you want to survive you'll need to say a little prayer to the god emperor and wade out into your enemies and slaughter them.  I was gonna wait till Christmas for it my self but after playing the demo I might have to move a few other games around to get this on launch day. If the whole game plays as well as the 2 levels in the demo, this will be a great game to get.  Fans of the Warhammer 40k IP will also be delighted to know that THQ has continued to treat the IP with the same care and dedication that it has in its previous Warhammer 40k games. Out on Septemeber 6th This looks like the september game you should check out!

Nerd Credentials: Looking good!

-MaCade Vineyard

Captain America : Super Soldier

Let me start by saying I LOVED Captain America : The First Avenger.  It was a great movie.

I wouldn't say I the same about Captain America : Super Soldier.  I enjoyed it, but I didn't love it.

The game takes place on one of Steve Rogers secret missions for the US goverment, but before the end of the movie.  Most movie licensed games tend to follow the path of the movie it is based on, so this was quite a nice change of pace.  Captain America finds a Hydra conspiracy, and sets out to solve it.  Along the way he is joined by his buddys, in various situations, and he takes it upon himself to steal priceless artifacts from these peoples homes.  Though I am confused as to why there is so many priceless artifacts just lying around.  I think by the end I had something like forty faberge eggs, which is just crazy.

That is about it for story I am afraid.

There are some neat set pieces in the game, but over all you spend a large amount of time running all over a European villa, which feels like a weaker version of Arkham Asylum from Batman : Arkham Asylum.  IN fact, just under the surface, there seems to be a bit of Batman envy going on.  The fighting system is similar, allowing you to bounce between enemys and even counter them in creative ways.  I enjoyed Batman : Arkham Asylum, and this game does a fairly decent job emulating it in all the right ways.  But that is, unfortunately, really all that is fun in the game.  I spent about thirty percent of my 8 hour play through running in circles and trying to figure out where I am supposed to be at.

The controls are strong, and the game looks alright, but evokes more of a playstation 2 feel then a current gen version.  The voice acting is great, actually being voiced by most of the people who played the roles in the movie, and the sound is good as well.  There are a handful of unlockable costumes, tons of collectable things through out the game, and a variety of enemys.

Nerd Credentials : Upheld, but just barely

-Anthony Hale

Putting our nerd "Cred" on the line

Welcome to The Nerd Credentials blog.  We are putting our nerd cards on the line and will be posting our thoughts, reviews, hopes and dreams about all things “nerdy”. This is not just a gaming blog. You can expect to hear about books and movies, arts and crafts, gadgets and of course games - electronic and otherwise.  We plan on posting videos of different types and a podcast along with the blog.

 We are nerds!  This blog is a place where we can share our hobbies and our insights to all things Nerdy.  We want to celebrate the things that make us, as grown-ups, squeal like little kids when we see it. Are you obsessive about the characters of your favorite book?  Have you ever discussed the merits of the light side, or if Gandalf or Dumbledore would win in a battle of wits?  Do you have a Z-day plan?  Have you ever really discussed what you think the time-space continuum looks like? Are your birthday cakes Star Wars or Nintendo themed? If yes, then our blog is for you!